imabitch

Forget bout my parents expectations,
I can't even meet mine!

Such horrifying results, I only have myself to blame. I set high standards and I expect them of myself, but it only made me more disappointed. My grades have dropped, and it's far from what I'm aiming for. How in the world am I ever gonna get into first three months with those kinda shit results! I'm not even doing this for my parents, they don't give me pressure, they just expect me to do my best. I ask myself, is this my best? Well definitely not! I can achieve better, and I did so last year, but yet I dropped so much this year? Why? For once, I long so badly to do well in my studies, for myself! So that like last year, I'd be happy with the results I've achieved with my own hard work and effort, so that I can get into at least a JC (I'm aiming for that), so that I can work towards my goal of getting at least 10 points, but now it seems so impossible I think I'm dreaming. And most importantly, I know what I want to be when I grow older, and I am, I am working towards that - An Art Teacher. Argh, I really have to start waking up, seriously! Just another few more months and it'd be prelims, and then O's! It's all up to me now, I've set the targets I've set my goals, it's all up to me whether I wanna achieve them or not. For now, I better be spending the upcoming June hols to the best, and catch up on my work! My parents whom I'm so very thankful for, they've supported me all the way, I'm sorry for the letdown. I feel rather guilty at the fact that you'll dont give me any stress yet I still achieve these results. I'll continue trying, I'll start working doubly hard, and hopefully, attain the results I'm expecting and hoping of myself by the time prelims come.

It's times like these I wished I had Claire's brain, results are giving me major headaches, I fucking hate it someone please just shoot me!


I'm off for tuition now.

posted by stacey @ Thursday, May 18, 2006